Yesterday Was A Sad Day…
Sitting in the Doctor’s office yesterday, Becky & I got the news we were hoping not to hear. Becky’s cancer has metastasized from her breast to her 2nd right rib.
I just sat there stunned. I heard him say some things after that like “We caught it early… this is very treatable… surgery at this point would be too evasive… you will not need chemotherapy…”
But I sat there wondering why did he say metastasized?
Why do they talk to people using industry jargon?
Can’t they just use plain English?
After all metastasized is just a fancy medical term for moved. The cancer has moved from her breast to her 2nd rib. That’s easy enough. Does it make it easier to deliver bad news by using medical jargon? I don’t know the reason, but it probably sucks telling hundreds of people a year they have cancer. It has to be a toughest part of their job.
At this point he started explaining Becky’s treatment.
She will have to come in once a month for an IV treatment for 1 1/2 - 2 years, and then hopefully it will be moved out to once every 2-3 months. But, this is a chronic condition… more medical jargon. I guess it would be tough to say you are going to be on the drug forever, but that’s what it means. Barring any new medical breakthroughs this treatment will be forever.
Then he turned to me & said because it was caught so early I would have Becky around for a long time. I guess he was saying the outlook was good… wait I’m sorry the prognosis looks good.
He asked us both if we had any questions. We both asked questions & he answered them. Mostly questions about treatment & what to expect.
One thing I’ve learned about getting information from medical folks.
They do not like to give up much information… so you have to learn how to ask the same question many different ways. It becomes a cat & mouse game. I believe it’s because so many variable come into play that it’s hard to accurately predict the outcome of any disease or treatment. But if you don’t ask & ask & ask… you won’t get any information.
As all this was winding down I started thinking about Becky.
I couldn’t even begin to imagine what must be running through her mind. The shock, questions, fear, anger. The uncertainty that now hangs out there staring you in the face.
I’m not sure how she dose it… She is the person who has to deal with this dreaded disease. She is the one who is going to go through the treatments & deal with the side effects. Some of them could be nausea, vomiting, fever, fatigue, depression, bone pain (ironic… the drug treatment for bone cancer has a side effect of bone pain). Then add on top of all that, she has to deal her cancer returning.
But it’s like Becky says… it’s just another thing you have to deal with.
Personally I think it would have been nice to catch a break on this one.
What it boiled down to is… I have no idea what she’s going through. I have no perspective, no experience… I haven’t walked a mile in her shoes. I really can’t imagine what it would be like hearing a doctor say you have cancer.
For me it’s extremely frustrating watching this unfold - again.
The love & support of our family & friends is so important in our lives. They are there to celebrate the victories & to offer a shoulder to cry on when needed. It’s soo awesome to know someone is there for you through the good times & the bad.
I love Becky with every fiber in my soul. I knew she was the one from the 1st day we met. We have been married for 22 years & I love her more today than ever. And my love for her grows stronger each day.
It was so hard watching her go through this the 1st time. Now, she has to deal with it again. This is something I cannot protect her from. I can’t pull out my tools & fix it. This is one of those moments in life where I wouldn’t hesitate for a nano-second to take this bullet for Becky… but I know I can’t. All I can do is be there for her & support her.
The next best thing I can do is to ask for your help.
One thing I noticed that really cheered-up Becky the last time she went through treatments. It was getting cards, notes or emails from people. They would be words or encouragement, support or even humorous. She kept them close & would read them when she was feeling bad. It’s funny how simple little gestures from people would help lift her spirits.
I would like to give Becky something she can look at anytime she needs some cheering up. Something she could read & would help lift her spirits. So, here’s my request for help from you. Could you take a quick few seconds & leave a comment for Becky. It could a few words of encouragement, sympathy or support. A few quick words would be great. Just something she can read & know there are people thinking about her.
Could you also help spread the word….
Also, if you could do another thing… Would you consider helping me get the word out about this? It would be nice to have lots of comments for Becky to see. So, if you could send out a twitter about this, stumble it or as Gary Vaynerchuk would say… Friend me up. I would really appreciate the effort… as would Becky.
I would like to thank everyone who has already sent us well wishes, thoughts & prayers. Becky & I really appreciate all the emails, tweets, comments & other communication. It really helped while waiting for the test results. I tried to reply to everyone, but I could have missed someone. If I did I apologize & this is my of saying thanks to those I might of missed.
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Dear Keith and Becky –
What remarkable and courageous people you both are! I am THRILLED I had the opportunity to read this blog today and that I’m following you on Twitter Keith so that I saw the tweet!
Keith your attitude is nothing short of phenomenal and of course because your INTENTION is so pure and clear — the Universe has no choice but to deliver all of the support, grace and ease that you both will need.
Becky — likewise your courage and willingness to accept RATHER THAN resist — will no doubt bring you many unexpected blessings even through this seemingly “bad” circumstance. Your path through this experience will likewise no doubt bring untold comfort and support to hundreds and possibly thousands of people in similar situations.
It is a true and honest blessing to support you both in any way possible — please — seriously — SINCERELY — do not hesitate one iota in contacting me if I can do anything at all for either/both of you!
With Infinite Love & Gratitude,
Stephanie Bell the Spirit Coach
(@SpiritCoach)
Stephanie Bell the Spirit Coach
7 Aug 08 at 3:00 pm
Keith,
My heart and prayers go out to Becky. I truly understand what she is going through. I can’t really understand what you are going through though. Because I’m the one with cancer and not my wife. I was diagnosed with cancer on my pancreas this week.
I still have more tests before they can start treatment. Becky, I know that waiting is the hardest part of the entire ordeal. I have waited and am still waiting. I admire your strength. Can I borrow some of it?
Bob Kleppin
@rkleppin
Bob Kleppin
7 Aug 08 at 3:29 pm
Keith and Becky,
I found this blog post through a mention at twitter.com from Spirit Coach. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. A complication like this never seems fair, but, according to Keith’s words above, even though y’all are heartsick, you are committed to one another, and that joy of love and support is what’s really important. I wish I could promise you a miracle. I’d like to be able to do that. What I can give you with no reservation is my love and thoughts of strength and perserverance. And I can give you this word. Always believe for your best, because belief is a powerful thing.
Bless you both,
Buz McGuire
Buz McGuire
7 Aug 08 at 3:57 pm
Dear Keith and Becky,
Although I do not know you, I do know that you are strong. As I sort through to find the words to say to two people that I have never met, I feel compelled to say that your love and support shall see you through this.
Becky, your thoughts of restored health / good health are in harmony with a healthy body and for that the universe can not deny and you will receive.
No matter how difficult that it may seem, smile…laugh and do so every day. Find things that bring you joy and surround yourself with them.
Love and Blessings,
Linea Jones
@linea.jones
Linea Jones
7 Aug 08 at 4:00 pm
Keith and Becky,
Holding the vision, the focus, sending good vibrations of love, light and ESPECIALLY laughter - it truly is the best medicine.
With the love and the attitude you hold, you’re ahead of the game and I for one am here to hold that space for you.
And Bob Kleppin there’s MORE than enough love and light and laughter and good vibrations and healing energy to go around for you as well…you too are in my heart and in my vision of wellbeing for you.
If there’s anything else I can do to support you all, let me know.
Healing hugs and energy of love all ’round,
Eva
Eva
7 Aug 08 at 8:46 pm
Here’s a virtual hug from a virtual stranger (pun intended to make you smile). It’s hard to find the right words - sympathy isn’t really helpful - and yet there’s this huge need to reach out and say something that expresses what I’m feeling for you.
Cancer has touched my life in far too many places. It pains me to see it touching your lives, too.
I am grateful for the HUGE advances that have been made in treatment options. May your treatment be exceptionally quick and comfortable, and more than anything, effective.
Sincerely,
Janelle the CCGAL
CCGAL
7 Aug 08 at 9:01 pm
Becky… “Fear can not live in the present moment” “Live there”
Keith - “you too”
Anne Preston
7 Aug 08 at 9:11 pm
Keith and Becky, Why can’t blondes be pharmacists? Because they can’t fit the bottle in the typewriter. : )
No, really. Lots of love comin’ atcha from Kentucky. I love the picture of you and your dog. Now THAT’s a happy couple! You guys are amazing, and I feel blessed to have made your acquaintance.
Keep us updated as to your progress. Let me know if I can do anything more to support you, as well.
Much love,
Susan
Susan Denham
7 Aug 08 at 9:17 pm
Thank you both,
Thank you for having the courage and integrity to share, and to request love, support, and kindness.
I hold you both and your loved ones too in my heart and prayers.
Blessings,
Mr. Twenty Twenty
PS: I found out about you through twitter. I am amazed at the possibilities that technology can offer to us, as compassionate souls. Thank you!
Mr. Twenty Twenty
7 Aug 08 at 9:40 pm
Keith and Becky,
I just returned from a couple of days of inactivity and found your tweet. It’s been a sad day for you, but after the shock has passed, you should realize that having an optimistic attitude and a true desire for life will still give you both many years to be together.
The healing power of our own mind is incredible, don’t give up, keep faith, keep a positive attitude, focus on those things that are truly important on life, find a reason to live on every moment you spend together and you will be allright.
You are in our prays
Anthony Machado & Family
Anthony
7 Aug 08 at 10:45 pm
We don’t know each other Keith, but I saw your tweet, and just wanted to say my prayers are with you and Becky.
Tom Busch
7 Aug 08 at 11:28 pm
This is a very difficult time for you both. I worship a God that is way bigger than cancer. Praying for you both; for complete healing for Becky, and for peace for you, Keith. Be strong. Be blessed.
Carol
8 Aug 08 at 7:11 am
Dear Keith — I’m facing this diagnosis in the typical fashion I face most challenges - head on. I won’t go down without a fight and I plan on sticking around for a very long time…. We’ll still be going on walks with Gypsy, traveling, and sharing great times for years to come and I look forward to our next adventure.
To all that have sent a Tweet or responded to Keith’s Blog, I truely appreciate your thoughts, prayers and concerns. Most of you don’t know me at all, but the kindness you extended to me and Keith will not be forgotten.
Am I scared? — in truth yes. BUT — I’m not going to let this consume me — I need to focus on the treatment (take my medicine so to speak), and continue to do the things I do in life (LIFE being the key word here).
All my love, Becky
Becky
9 Aug 08 at 11:00 am
I will like to thank Stephanie Bell the Spirit Coach for her comment. She has spoken so well that I don’t have anything to add.
I do believe that anything that happens at any moment is to the glory of God. He knows why he lets certain things happen.
COURAGE
AZ Blogging
10 Aug 08 at 3:42 am
Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear this - last I knew, it was all clear! Whatever happened??
This sounds real tough so hang tight and take it a little at a time.
I like what I read above: “Fear can not live in the present moment” “Live there”
My thoughts are with you both today.
Be Well,
Pam Hoffman
http://seminarlist.blogspot.com
Pam Hoffman
11 Aug 08 at 12:36 pm
Keith & Becky,
My heart goes out to you.
Here are some of the sayings I like and thought I would share,
LIfe is a witch ~~~ and then ya fly
Life is messy. Wear your apron!
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort~~Albright
Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.
Take good care,
Brook
Brook
11 Aug 08 at 3:28 pm
Keith and Becky,
Prayer and prayer and a little smile at the end of the
day for you. Hope you get over this small obstacle
and get on with drinking wine.
Doug Hansen
Doug Hansen
11 Aug 08 at 4:35 pm
Keith and Becky,
I’m sending a website with beautiful pictures to a place I would love to go. I hope you like looking at them too.
Keep strong and don’t stop looking for new developments.
http://rtoddking.com/chinawin2005_hb_vi.htm
Robin
Robin C
11 Aug 08 at 11:45 pm
Dear Becky,
no one can truly understand the hurt you must feel. i won’t pretend to try and know it or try to metaphorically symbolize it. rather i offer you my heartfelt love and admiration. you are a human being that i could only dream about being.
-matthew-
Matthew
12 Aug 08 at 12:13 am
Becky,
Just reviewed the wine library links and found you. I share your plight as a cancer patient too. I have lived with it (CLL) for 10 years now. The first 9.5 years was a considered breeze.. . but the last 6 months have been a challenge. Chemos, radiation, and other non medical remidies no longer will curb the spread of this disease. I am slated to have a bone marrow transplant probably in the next 2-3 weeks. Lucky me, the donor is a perfect match and expectations for success are high. You too can overcome this challenge. God’s blessing are forever with you. May strength and comfort be always with you. Brent
Brent Stiffler
12 Aug 08 at 7:35 am
Sweet Jesus, why can’t we DEFEAT this? I’ve shared the cancer diagnosis and treatment with my Father, Mother, Daughter and Daughter-in-law. Thankfully, all are still alive. There are treatments and they work. There is life after treatment. I am amazed at the strength one finds in time of need. I wish you both the best.
Doug in Missoula, Montana
Doug
12 Aug 08 at 9:48 am
I am so glad I found you through EntreCard. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer nearly 15 years ago and after about a dozen operations and radiation she was given the all clear. This April I got a call from her that she now has metastasized lung cancer. The waiting is truly the hardest part for everyone. Like my mother, I know Becky can beat this again.
ourcrookedtree
12 Aug 08 at 12:46 pm
Hello Becky and Keith,
I am very sorry for this to have happened to you. I wish there would be a cure for cancer already. I hope you dont get many side effects from the treatment that you have to do. I wish you both the best of luck. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.
Dean
Dean
12 Aug 08 at 6:22 pm
Becky and Keith,
I too, have known the fear of a spouse who is ill. Rely on those around you to support you. Here is one of my favorite quotes that helped keep us centered through it all.
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tria
Tria
13 Aug 08 at 1:31 pm
I really feel for what you are going through, it’s not an easy thing and my prayers will be with you both. I just came back from Kentucky where my son was handed a 2 year death sentence at most, but we have faith that God will provide a miracle and I will add you to the miracle I seek for my son.
Jude
13 Aug 08 at 9:36 pm
Hey Keith and Becky,
Sending you a BIG cyber hug right now (squeezing you both tight.)
You’re in my thoughts.
<3
Rebecca
Rebecca
13 Aug 08 at 11:21 pm
Keith and Becky,
Hey, guys. Neither of you know me, but that doesn’t really matter, does it? What I want you to know is that my prayers are with you guys. My mother has had to deal with something similar, so I know a little about what you guys are going through. Praying for you guys, and hoping for the best for you and your family.
Vayniac Class of ‘06
Mason
14 Aug 08 at 12:21 am
Hi Keith and Becky,
I have an idea of what you are going through at the moment - my mum was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma {form of bone marrow cancer] last September 07.
Like you said there are terms to learnt, numbers to understand, and people to meet. But they can do amazing things in Medicine now, and positive thoughts count for a lot - so keep up beat !
My mums latest test result came back and after a slow start on the treatment the latest results were the best so far. While I am not a deeply religious person remember that Joy Cometh in the Morning - and that you have to go throught the dark to reach the light. I know that it is a bit cheesey but what the heck !
So keep your chins up, and keep smiling !
Frank O’Brien
Frank O Brien
14 Aug 08 at 1:28 pm
Hi Keith and Becky,
I found my way here when Mott linked you up recently on WLTV. I just wanted to say both of you are so inspirational; Becky’s courage to once again endure the treatment and Keith’s strength in supporting her. I’m glad you have each other. I’m currently a grad student at Ohio State researching how breast cancer travels to the lung, and stories like these never fail to give me a renewed sense of purpose. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s all too easy to get caught up in the daily frustrations of the job and lost sight of the big picture. Thanks for putting things back in perspective. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. We’ll beat this thing yet!
David Taffany (@SuprDave)
David Taffany
15 Aug 08 at 8:35 pm
Hi Keith and Becky,
I have not met either of you but I wanted to leave a comment. While I am sad to hear of this disease on your lives I am glad to hear that you have each other. I want to wish you the best of luck and great success. I hope you both find great joy and happiness in every single day. Your love for each other is obvious and inspiring.
Matt G.
PS - I came this way via winelibraryTV where I am a lurker.
Matt G.
17 Aug 08 at 3:10 pm
Open the window and let out the biggest laugh/scream/sob/cough, whatever it may be, of your life. And then look down or around at all the people who look at you like you are crazy and point and laugh at them with all your might, until you cry. Who knows, you might make them start laughing too, but you’ll have ever fiber in your body shaking with little minute shocks of giddiness that most people are too shy or embarrassed to express.
Then try that at the next (insert a place “made” for more “civilized” behavior like the opera, Wimbledon, Christmas dinner) place your find your self feeling down some.
Smiles and laughs your way.
J Crazy
21 Aug 08 at 8:13 am
i think i found my way here thru entrecard. started reading your latest post, scrolled down to read more and found this article. i just kept on reading. i dont know what to say more to help you feel better nor to cheer you up. i’ll include becky in my prayer for healing and for strength to both of you.
Cookie
Finland
cookie
27 Aug 08 at 8:44 am
Becky, WLTV sent me through this way and I’m sorry to hear the news. I wish you all the best for the up-and-coming trials and hope you both get through this as painlessly as possible.
Keep happy, I’m always amazed how being happy under the toughest conditions helps.
Karl,
England.
Karl Laczko
3 Sep 08 at 3:21 pm
So, far Becky’s been doing well with her treatments. Not getting sick or being out of commission for several days at a time. Good news… let’s pray the treatment will work as intended.
Keith Goodrum
5 Sep 08 at 12:55 pm
Hey you two,
I just wanted to say how proud I am of you guys. Your strength is so admirable. I’ve heard it said that many people take on this attitude just as you have. The glass is have full, right?
Keep fighting the good fight. I know you can do it. Let tenacity win.
I’ve let all my friends know about your blogs so they can better understand what it’s like to have to go through this.
P.S. I want to hear all about juicing.
All my love,
Aunt Jeanette
15 Sep 08 at 7:20 pm
Becky,
I’m really sad to hear the cancer came back. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
We may differ on political views, but I think you’re an awesome person anyway.
Keith,
Way to be a husband! I’m proud of you!
Makes me choke up reading what you wrote.
God bless.
Ryan
Ryan Healy
17 Sep 08 at 5:38 pm
Hi Keith and Becky,
I found your site while looking for an e-card to send one of my friends who was diagnosed with metastized breast cancer last year. Her treatment is going well and she has been gathering good news. I wanted to know if you have heard of http://www.caringbridge.org? It is a place where people going through cancer or other major illnesses can create a free website and post journal entries. It allows friends to learn about what is happening in their life and also allows friends and family to post messages. My friend Bobbi is a member. It has been a great source of comfort to her.
My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Mary Turner
Hudson Falls, NY
Mary Turner
7 Oct 08 at 9:46 am
Good luck Becky. Stay strong. Hope you get through it and stay happy!
Sending good vibes from Australia.
Cris
10 Nov 08 at 8:17 am